- He’s nearly always overseas anyway. Just glue the Prime Minister’s pants to his RAAF jet seat.
- They demand permanent work-from-home. Give it to them. Affix 14,000 Federal public servants’ bottoms to their home office chair. No three-hour gym sessions between 9am and 5pm.
- Glue ‘No More Oil’ protesters’ alarm clock to 10:59am. They never get out of bed before 11:00am. Dah da! Brunswick brunch-time traffic jams fixed.
- Stick Adam Bandt to a computer playing all 10 episodes of Milton Friedman’s “Free To Choose” series in perpetual loop.
- Affix “No Budget Blowout Here” stickers on NDIS offices.
- Make a lapel badge which illuminates red and says “Alert! Dictator Detector” whenever the wearer wants to ban books. Offer them as gifts to all politicians.
- Instead of them pouring filthy oil on an obscure part of the Flemington track, help the Greens win more publicity by gluing a few of themselves to some saddles in this year’s Melbourne Cup. That will shake them up a bit.
- If Mehreen Faruqi then complains about abuse of horses in the Melbourne Cup, temporarily glue her mouth shut just long enough to say “koalas” and “investment properties”.
- Stick it to socialists, by patting them on the back with superglued Post-Its reading, “Tax is theft”. (Thanks BM!)
- Glue a Commonwealth gold medal to Dan Andrew’s forehead for winning the “Biggest Civil Liberty, Diplomatic and Economic Disaster” event.
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An entrepreneur who has employed 1,470+ people, Kenelm was admitted to the BRW Fast 100 three times with businesses in Australia, NZ, Singapore and New York, where he lived for 12 years. Kenelm’s investment firm performs mid-market leveraged roll-ups. He was a regular columnist for the Australian Financial Review. Kenelm is the Founder of Liberty Itch.
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